With the dawn of a new year upon us I am moved to recap on the year past – aren’t we all at some point. What a year it has been; the last of my 20′s and the beginning of a whole new life for me in many ways. You have been there through my ramblings about things I have wanted to do, things I have been too ill to do and things that I have done at full throttle.
I wont go back over them as there is no point in rehashing what has been, so what I really want to do is go over the things that I have learnt in the hope that 1. I am not the only person to have felt them and 2. I can spread some love to others. So here is the Clever Little Buttons guide to the past 12 months and the future 52 weeks.
Learn to love your figure
This for me had to be the number one as it is something that has eaten away at me for years. I am a stocky girl – or as my nan once put it – I could lift hay bails with one hand. She is right, I can and above all else I am physically strong and fit. I have always hated this though; sometimes I felt too masculine with arm muscles that have put some of my male friends to shame and thighs like a rugby player.
Needless to say, the majority of my 20′s have been overtaken by fad diets, over exercising and trying to fit into clothing that simply doesn’t work for my shape. So at the beginning of 2013 I set myself the task of learning how to get on with my figure as if it was my best friend. I am proud to say….no let’s shout it…that I have managed to achieve this in ways that I never thought possible.
OK, the first thing I realised is that no matter how hard I try I am never going to have the body of shakira – it is never going to happen. Once I managed to grasp this notion it was easy to move on from it. I am me, what you see is what you get and at the end of the day what does it really matter if I have the odd lump or bump – they make me who I am.
Secondly I have a physically fit physique. I train hard and I have very little fat left, just large muscles. Well that’s ok by me.
Finally I just gave up caring that much. I don’t have the time or the energy to waste on feeling miserable over the size of my bottom or having a thigh gap.
I realised I am one tough cookie.
This was the year that above all other, I have struggled more with my health. I have been ill for many years. What I have was given many names and I was passed from doctor to specialist back to doctor again with little help. This year has been particularly bad; it may have been stress, lack of sleep or just a deterioration in my condition but I have had a tough time. But I am still here, still working, still typing to you guys and holding my head as high as I can.
It is down to this that I have realised that I can literally face my worst fears and still be standing at the other side. Sometimes we get so caught up in our fears that we forget that we are ALL made of strong stuff whatever we have to face in life. You may be afraid of love, trusting others, life or even the classic….spiders. The thing is they are just fears and panic is a separate emotion. So what ever you fear the most in life, grasp it, feel it and then move on….life’s too short.
I have found joy in the small things.
This is the final thing I want to say and it may be the most important. I have never been a particularly materialistic person,in fact the majority of my possessions are just things. However I would be the first to admit that I used to put more value in the bigger aspects of life than the smaller. Things like wanting a house with a garden or even having children. When I turned 20 I did what most of us did; planned my 20′s. It went something like this;
1. Finish University
2. Get an awesome job as a writer
3. Get a house
4. Get married
5. Have children
live happily ever after……..
Well I can categorically say I have the awesome job as a writer and I finished university and that is where the list ends. The weird thing is that I am not worried about this as there are many small things that is we wish our lives away we miss. Things like the gigs I have been too, the life lessons I have learnt, dealing with a flooded kitchen on my own, learning to knit, learning how to love others in a healthy way and watching the sun rise over the sea on many occasions. These are the things I am taking out of my 20′s that are setting me up for my 30′s.
All in all, this year I have learnt that life doesn’t come with a guide book. You can’t google it and you can’t plan it. It will hit you in the face when you least expect it and if you are unaware of the punch in the face you will miss it.
Happy New Year everyone and speak soon